maandag 19 november 2012

Day 175 - Self-forgiveness on project


The way it worked is that I sat in the train and suddenly have this cool image/picture of myself and think it could be cool to have it on a website. Instead of questioning myself I then went on and started thinking about creating a website around together with the other guys, and the way this would be perceived by others as looking very professional. So, it all started out as an energy based on a picture.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not inform the other people I involve of my startingpoint.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to within my decision not access what would work best within the context of the group and what is already being done – and rather do my own thing and impose this on the other members of the group without even understanding why I want things a certain way.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to stick to my energy instead of opening op a point in common sense and merely pushing through my DESIRE.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have ideas’ without practically walking the implications of executing it all the way in equality with others.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not stop myself when seeing the startingpoint – but believing I can change my startingpoint seemingly and that the origin is not relevant – yet without investigating how/why the thought prompted me to act.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not properly dissolve the attention seeking pattern and the seeking of recognition – and within this not be aware of how my mind will trow up a bait.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to involve others in a project without FIRST clearing my startingpoint and making sure that what I want is actually best for all.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be gullible towards my own mind instead of trusting myself in common sense.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get irritated when I didn’t get what I want.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not stand equal with the others within looking at an idea but instead seeing my idea as superior but without being able to explain why.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not pace myself within breath and walk a point in space time before going to the execution phase and involving others.
I commit myself to slow myself down in breath and see when/how an idea/picture will originate as bait.
I commit myself to investigating my startingpoint through writing before calling on others to implement something, so that I am sure that the effort will be best directed towards what is best for all.
I commit myself to openly communicate my ideas with the group to crossreference my intentions instead of doing it in the side semi-secretly because I perceive myself to be superior and not needing to communicate what I am doing.
I commit myself to stand equal to the group practically through sharing and crossreferencing my idea’s/plans with others so that the outcome is always best for all.
So - within this i see I need to change my startingpoint if I am going to continue my participation with this website and make sure that it is best from the start !

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