Buzz Lightyear (2022): Movie Review

We went to see the Buzz Lightyear movie yesterday and I actually liked it quite a bit. I thought the story was developing in a non-predictable manner and the problems and challenges being faced by the protagonists were quite interesting and unexpected. For me the theme that stood out was the theme of ‘Failure’ and ‘shame within making mistakes’.

These are topics that are close to my heart because I have walked such points in my life many times and I know how tough it can be to stand up from making mistakes, sometimes even with really detrimental outcomes, and to then stand up from that and continue finding a reason and purpose to live. I mean that is what some people are actually facing in reality – not only ‘challenges’ as it is being called, but mistakes and outcomes that make you question your very existence.

I found that when I had arrived in such a point in my life, the only way to move foward was to drop all expectations about myself and my life and to communicate with the people in my life. Start including everyone in my life and reality and see where I can be of support, and most importantly: where it is that I need assistance and support. That is how you create yourself anew.

It is as though Buzz Lightyear cannot forgive himself. He has to be ‘the one’ that is going to ‘save everyone’ to fix the situation. Except that the more he tries to ‘save everyone’ the more it leads to more consequences. What comes through is that his unwillingmess to forgive himself and his stubbornness to be a saviour actually reveals a superiority belief – where ‘only he’ is able to succeed alone by himself. Except that ‘alone’ he appears to be going nowhere…

In an interesting scene where he and his companions are stuck together in a time-sensitive trap, he still approaches the situation from the vantage point of having to save everyone. At this point someone in his team actually says that they don’t need him to save them, they need him to work together with them. And indeed, by being humble to the reality of the situation and realising that he needs to give up his specialness and simply work together, he and his companions form a team that is one unit of combined strengths which succeeds to break out of the trap.

I thought that was really interesting: because I have often also found that when working in a team, I have to stop myself from making assumptions and actually need to slow down and communicate with everyone before I can act – and when I do eventually act my actions actually represent the team-effort and not simply my individual will.

This is the lesson of Buzz Lightyear: a process from superiority to humility and actual real care for his fellow companions as equals. Perhaps that is also the way forward for humanity and all of us who feel we have ‘failed’ and made ‘unrepairable mistakes’: don’t take yourself so seriously and include others into your life.

Day 387 - Dark Thoughts of a Dark Knight

What I enjoy these days is that we go out for a bikeride every evening after work. This is not something I would normally push myself to do especially with the days being so short and the dark setting in very early and the temperatures being close to zero. But every evening I am being asked (and pushed) to join for the evening bikeride and it does have a beneficial effect on how I experience myself in what is still a semi-lockdown. We put on warm clothes and just venture out on our bikes. There have been evenings where I have been more reluctant because I could feel how cold it was outside, and there was a natural tendency to just want to stay inside and 'be warm' but the reality is that I had been inside already all day, working in front of a computer and that bikeride just creates a real break from that living between four walls, as if one is only existing in a cave. 

I can see how it would be so easy to just sink into some kind of 'depression' given the context of lock-down and just become 'demoralised' with the days being so monotonous. This is why I realise that I need to push myself to go out every evening if I can for that bikeride as it is the one thing we do together in that day that we really enjoy. So it is funny that despite all this evidence, I would still be able to come up with 'doubt' and 'second guessing' as to whether I really want to go for a bikeride on a given day - why not just embrace the LEAP wand WALK the point unconditionally, giving of myself to myself and the other. That would make it even more enjoyable and strengthening of myself and my ability to move myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to like to get attention within being 'reluctant' and 'needing proof' that a bikeride would be good for us.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think I cannot make a simple decision without going through doubt and getting attention first. 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to play a game within pretending that I am reluctant to go outside when in reality I am not reluctant at all and I can clearly see that this would be best for both of us. 

I commit myself to when and as I see myself playing a game with myself and another, I stop and breathe - and look at what it is that I in self-honesty want in this moment without beating around the bush.

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For more information about writing, self-forgiveness and applying self-change, visit: http://desteni.org

For the Free online self-forgiveness course, visit: http://lite.desteniiprocess.com

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Day 368 - Learn to Smile without Guilt

I remember when I was in South Africa in 2009 and Bernard said to me:  “You have to learn to smile without feeling guilty.“

As always I could not immeditaley grasp the full extent of what he was saying. I reflected on his words and realised that I indeed did not feel comfortable smiling – and that I saw smiling as a way of ‚selling out‘. Because (my belief was that) I was not ‚being true to myself‘. Because ‚why do I have to smile‘?

This goes hand in hand with the apprehension I had towards the system in general and the world of money in particular. Because in the world of money, everything was about ‚smiling‘ and keeping up a ‚positive image‘.

So, why should I ‚smile‘ ?

Later on when I would be working at a job back in my country – I started to realise the meaning of what he said. In essence, smiling was neither positive nor negative. Smiling was simply a way of expressing myself by using my face. Now what I found is that the more I would practice smiling, the more I would start enjoying it.  Meaning, I would be able to put on a big smile at will, and within that actually enjoy myself. I remember one day we had to participate in a photo shoot for work because marketing needed our profile pictures and people generaly appreciated my photo because it was astounding how much I was enjoying myself on the picture.

There was no more uncomfortableness, no more ‚guilt‘.

This is also a point of walking through “morality“ regarding the rules I had imposed on myself in orther to be an “authentic person.“ I found that when I smile, the expression of me enjoying myself was authentic. It was not fabricated. Within me smiling was my genuine expression. This is also a statement that I am cool with enjoying myself – that I am ok with me having fun. There was nothing to hide and nothing to pretend.

Since then, I have continued to play with my ability to smile and used it as much as I could with people in my world. I found that when I allow myself to smile in this way people will be much more open with me and much more willing to share themselves with me. Therefore, smiling is also a way of opening yourself up to the world and stepping out of isolation.  

This is therefore a nice way of applying a ‚behavioral correction‘ within yourself and your world as support for an ‚internal correction‘.  

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For more information about writing, self-forgiveness and applying self-change, visit: http://desteni.org

For the Free online self-forgiveness course, visit: http://lite.desteniiprocess.com

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Day 363 - Ping Pong always Wrong

Here are a few lines I wrote in relation to a pattern of going into conflict with 'words' and wanting to be acknowledged:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in a ping pong game of righteousness.

I commit myself to when and as I see myself participating in ping-pong as energy and 'competition' I stop and breathe, and I let the moment pass.

I realise and understand there is nothing to win as I am already here.

I commit myself to speak words in clarity, stability and from a startingpoint of one and equal respect for myself and life.

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For more information about writing, self-forgiveness and applying self-change, visit: http://desteni.org

For the Free online self-forgiveness course, visit: http://lite.desteniiprocess.com

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Day 362 - The Measure of a Man (Film 2015)

I recently saw the French movie named 'La Loi du Marché' which should have been translated as 'The Law of the Market' but instead you will find translated as 'The Measure of a Man'.

In this story the main character faces unemployment after having been fired from his previous job. He then faces the bureaucracy of the supporting organisations that exist to offer him support with getting him hired again, but he soon realises that these mostly exist to keep him busy and going in circles. Within this process he faces a lot of stress because he has a son who is handicapped and who requires a lot of expensive care and special treatment. Additionally he has not yet fully paid off the loan on their house.

When he then finds a job again he is faced with internal conflict as he is made to perform tasks that he feels 'bad' about. He is namely hired as a security agent to control the shopping behavior of customers in a large grocery store. As he is introduced into his role, which involves learning how to operate all the security camera's in the store, he learns that he must not only check on the customers but also on the employees of the store. In effect, his task is also to make sure that employees do not steal from the store.

The strength of this movie is in showing the reality of people, both customers and employees alike, not being able to make ends meet and who will be compelled to steal in a grocery store. Most people who are caught stealing seem to be people who simply don't have enough money to buy the things they would like or which they require. This will place the main character in a difficult position as his testimony as a security agent will be used to fire those employees who have been caught stealing. This causes him heartache because he knows exactly what they are going through as he has been there himself.

In one particular instance the firing of an employee leads to a suicide as the person could no longer support herself and she had a son with drug problems. After this and a few more instances, the main character one day decides to walk away from his job as he is disgusted with himself and what he has to do for money.

This is where I want to offer perspective.

As much as I can understand the reaction of the main-character, the actual answer was not within walking away from his job. The system and the world we live in is a cruelty beyond words - but it is one which we have created collectively. This means that the system nor any part of it can be judged or 'rejected' - it has to be 'walked' so as to understand ourselves and how we created this. We have been brainwashed to believe that 'standing up' means to fight the system, but this is not so. Standing up means first and foremost taking responsibility for ourselves and 'who we are' as the version of 'life' we have become. Are we proud of ourselves in thought, word and deed or are we ashamed of the things we secretly think and participate in in our minds? How can we judge the system when we cannot even stop our own secret thoughts of spitefulness towards eachother? The only real change is inner change and only then can a new system emerge. 

For more information about what it means to take responsibility for oneself, visit:
http://www.desteni.org