Day 362 - The Measure of a Man (Film 2015)

I recently saw the French movie named 'La Loi du Marché' which should have been translated as 'The Law of the Market' but instead you will find translated as 'The Measure of a Man'.

In this story the main character faces unemployment after having been fired from his previous job. He then faces the bureaucracy of the supporting organisations that exist to offer him support with getting him hired again, but he soon realises that these mostly exist to keep him busy and going in circles. Within this process he faces a lot of stress because he has a son who is handicapped and who requires a lot of expensive care and special treatment. Additionally he has not yet fully paid off the loan on their house.

When he then finds a job again he is faced with internal conflict as he is made to perform tasks that he feels 'bad' about. He is namely hired as a security agent to control the shopping behavior of customers in a large grocery store. As he is introduced into his role, which involves learning how to operate all the security camera's in the store, he learns that he must not only check on the customers but also on the employees of the store. In effect, his task is also to make sure that employees do not steal from the store.

The strength of this movie is in showing the reality of people, both customers and employees alike, not being able to make ends meet and who will be compelled to steal in a grocery store. Most people who are caught stealing seem to be people who simply don't have enough money to buy the things they would like or which they require. This will place the main character in a difficult position as his testimony as a security agent will be used to fire those employees who have been caught stealing. This causes him heartache because he knows exactly what they are going through as he has been there himself.

In one particular instance the firing of an employee leads to a suicide as the person could no longer support herself and she had a son with drug problems. After this and a few more instances, the main character one day decides to walk away from his job as he is disgusted with himself and what he has to do for money.

This is where I want to offer perspective.

As much as I can understand the reaction of the main-character, the actual answer was not within walking away from his job. The system and the world we live in is a cruelty beyond words - but it is one which we have created collectively. This means that the system nor any part of it can be judged or 'rejected' - it has to be 'walked' so as to understand ourselves and how we created this. We have been brainwashed to believe that 'standing up' means to fight the system, but this is not so. Standing up means first and foremost taking responsibility for ourselves and 'who we are' as the version of 'life' we have become. Are we proud of ourselves in thought, word and deed or are we ashamed of the things we secretly think and participate in in our minds? How can we judge the system when we cannot even stop our own secret thoughts of spitefulness towards eachother? The only real change is inner change and only then can a new system emerge. 

For more information about what it means to take responsibility for oneself, visit:
http://www.desteni.org 

Day 356 - From conflict and fighting to Participation

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to freak out when F shows me how to position a curtain

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get upset and shout "I don’t want you to intervene!"

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think I ‘lose my control’ because F does something ‘without my permission’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to panic because I fear losing some kind of arrangement I had and think she will ‘distort it’ and I think my solution is the only correct one.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not breathe and fall into reactions as emotions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify reacting emotionally because ‘she is not allowed to do that’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel interfered with

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel stepped over

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel disrespected

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hold onto my perception as ‘control’ instead of simply breathing and letting go and allowing the ‘risk’ of something new to unfold.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ‘defend’ that which I ‘know’ and ‘fear losing’ the relative comfort which my approach was providing, instead of allowing myself to try something new and seeing if it does not work better.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have programmed myself with an automatic ‘no’ towards anything that challenges me and questions the way I do things.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be fearful and aggressive about a point so simple as the way a curtain is arranged.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take myself so seriously that I think that my way is the best way.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fall into ego instead of allowing myself to see a solution for what it is, irrespective of who presents it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compete with F and wanting to prove my value.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use conflict instead of breathing and simple communication.

I commit myself to – when and as I see myself reacting to something small and simple where I perceive that I am being interfered with – to stop and breathe, take a moment and speak from clarity and participate with the other person in her suggested solution.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ‘fight it’ instead of ‘participating in it’ and going all the way in contributing to it – this way making it in effect impersonal and applying and testing what is best for all.

I commit myself to test participating and walking unconditionaly with solutions offered by another person as a way to move through my fears of losing.

I forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to use panic and drama as a way to dissuade another person from showing me something.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use forcefulness as shouting or physically holding onto something as a way to dissuade another person from showing me something.

I commit myself to physically let go and create the space for another to show me something, whitin the realisation that what is best for all is also best for me - therefore I have nothing to lose, as a best for all solution is impersonal.

(To be continued)
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For more information about writing, self-forgiveness and applying self-change, visit: http://desteni.org

For the Free online self-forgiveness course, visit: http://lite.desteniiprocess.com

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