Day 384 - Living inside the Tip of the Iceberg

Here I would like to share some of the experiences I went through in the first few years of my process, after I had made my first visit to the farm. As I am suggesting in the title of this blog, I was living inside the Tip of an Iceberg. Before I went to the farm, I had a vision of myself as a person, and an idea about how I was walking my process. 

Little did I know of what was going to be unleashed in my life, by and through none other than... myself. The things that I faced and experienced were all a direct result of actions taken by me. That made it easier to reflect on my 'self-responsibility' and it did indeed prove that I am responsible for myself and my life. 

I remember the general anxiety and fear that existed in the back of me as a deep but very present sound, boiling deep within me. I had faced a few things before I made my first trip to the farm, I walked through some inner storms and turmoil. But still, that was nothing compared to what was to come. At the farm, Bernard made it clear on a few occasions that there was a 'madness' existing within me and that this is what I feared the most... 

I realised that there is not going to be any special treatments and I am going to face what I need to face. There is going to be no escape. And so I walked into my many rabbitholes, losing the plot, losing touch, no longer knowing what was up or down. How could this be? What did I do wrong? Why did I deserve this? The simple fact is that it was part of my design and I was simply facing my design. 

Bernard, and many others, supported me in understanding my responsibility - and that is all they could do. It was my responsibility to stand up and walk my process from the bottom. When things were still not working out and I had dugg a hole for myself, Bernard invited me back to the farm and gave me a second chance at creating a life for myself. This time I picked myself up and created a turn in my life. It took time, but the foundations were laid in my conversations with Bernard in South Africa. 

Had it not been for the support I received from the farm, Bernard, and everyone involved, including my parents, I would not have been able to face and walk through those darkest parts of myself in the way that I did. When I had walked out of it all, I had a 'purpose' and a 'life ambition'. Imagine, the key to changing the universe actually started with me giving myself the opportunity to live a real life. 

----------------------------------------------------------

For more information about writing, self-forgiveness and applying self-change, visit: http://desteni.org

For the Free online self-forgiveness course, visit: http://lite.desteniiprocess.com

----------------------------------------------------------

Day 379 - Forget about the Reasons Why

Forget about the 'reasons why' we are in confinement for a moment and simply take it 'as is': many of us are spending the majority of their time at home and the world seems to be 'standing still'. This 'standing still' of the world can be seen as a moment of 'pauze', as a moment between an in-breath, and an out-breath.

Many of us are actually 'calming down' through the experience of being able to be home more often. Those of us who are in such an experience, can start to see a 'potential' for themselves, for others, for 'society', for 'life' - that is not so easily noticed when the world is operating in a 'rush'.

This 'pauze' that we are experiencing should therefore be carried within ourselves and even after the measures slowly dissolve. We are getting a glimpse of what is possible as an existence on earth. One where nature also gets to breathe and stretch her leggs. It is interesting how much panic has been created in regards to the virus, when the impact of the human species on nature and on the animal kingdom on a daily basis, is much more profound.

The virus is perhaps here to remind us that we are not the 'Masters' of this world, but that we are simply one among the billions of other HOSTS as plants and animal species in and of this world, nothing more and nothing less.

(to be continued...)

-----------------------------------------------------------

For more information about writing, self-forgiveness and applying self-change, visit: http://desteni.org

For the Free online self-forgiveness course, visit: http://lite.desteniiprocess.com

-----------------------------------------------------------