Day 408 - Laurence Dervaux EXPO in Charleroi

Today I was fortunate to be able to see an exhibition in Charleroi from the Belgian artist Laurence Dervaux. The works in the exhibition were centered around the theme of the ‘liquids’ within the human body (such as blood, water, etc.) and the ‘fragility’ of the human body as a system that depends on these liquids.

When I entered the first room I immediately had to think of the book ‘Dune’ in which the scarcity of water, and how to frantically keep and recycle it, is such a central theme. But that was not so much the intention of the artist, as the entire installation functioned more as a metaphor for the entire human body through which liquids travel and are contained.

One of the smaller pieces, which looked like a network of blood vessels in the shape of baby-lungs, came with text, saying that the combined length of all the blood vessels in a human body, measures more than twice the circumference of the earth...  Now that made me ponder… because this means that the human body is indeed a vast system, a small universe of its own. The same reasoning can be applied to any body, to any animal or creature.

That alone should make us have so much respect for ourselves and each other who inhabit this world, as physical bodies. The realisation that we are each a vast universe of it’s own, yet extremely vulnerable, because we actually need each other to be able to live and co-exist. Real divinity would be to live in a manner that honours this realisation: where our actions are rooted within respect and consideration for ourselves and each other.

Yet, in this world not even the most vulnerable among us, seem worthy of our consideration. We declare wars, knowing full well that children will be the victims of these atrocities, and we declare them anyway. Does humanity deserve a seat amongst the Gods in the heavens? Or did we invent hell because we know we did nothing to stop the hell on this earth?

It is important to realise that there exists a way to 'stop'. Atrocities happen because at some point, we 'give in' to our emotions, we give in to our anger and our fears. This is an internal 'movement', an inner 'tipping point'. This inner movement does not happen without our 'consent'. We consent to it because we are participating in it. It takes many years to train oneself into developing the diligence and self-discipline required to be able to stop such automated forms of participation in emotions. I recommend to learn about self-forgiveness and how it works - because that is how you are going to learn to develop inner silence and the ability to Breathe through your own emotions when they visit you. 

Day 383 - Writing as a habit that Supports Me

An interesting thing occured when I made the decision to 'write everyday' in my daily diarybook. In the past I would have felt like such a commitment is not realistic and hence it would be like setting myself up for failure. 

I would say that the commitment to write daily in my daily diary did not come as a thought in my head but more as a realisation of what I am ready to give to myself. Hence the decision was made in an instant. 

The clarity of the decision was given within what I saw would help and asist others. On the open forum I had often suggested that 'this is something that will support you'. And in many ways, also through listening to EQAFE interviews it had become clear and apparent that 'writing daily' was really a key in developing a relationship of self-introspection with self. 

So what was 'new' so to speak when I made my decision to write daily in my dialy diary was the realisation that I do not need to write 'a lot' every day - in fact initially I was more looking at placing key words and bullet points per evening, as something that would support me with 'slowing down' at least one moment per day, and actually look at myself and who I am, looking at 'who I was today'. 

This is then how I saw that my commitment was realistic and that is how I started. I have since walked my daily diary writing every day and I am currently at 'Day 395'. There was a moment where I was faced with hesitation because after a few weeks the thought came up that I would not be able to work on a DIP assignment AND have enough time to write in my Daily diary in one day. So, I then made an agreement with myself that it is not about the 'writing in the daily diary' per say, but about the daily introspection through writing. Hence, if I have worked on a DIP assignment on a given day, then I can simply make a note in my daily diary for that day that I worked on my DIP an that is then my writing for the day. 

This allowed me to continue my daily commitment, even though later on even if I had worked on a DIP assignment, I would eventually still write in the diary in the evening, simply because I have made a habit out of it and because it supports me to do so before going to bed every day. This has assisted me with developing a deeper intimacy with myself and making sure that I look at those parts of myself that I am not satisfied with and looking at how I can change myself in them in a practical way.  

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For more information about writing, self-forgiveness and applying self-change, visit: http://desteni.org

For the Free online self-forgiveness course, visit: http://lite.desteniiprocess.com

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Day 352 - Standing up from self-inferiority

Today I would like to speak about a moment where I faced great difficulty, yet where I was able to stand up within the challenge. I did this by using the tools I had learned at Desteni, by asserting myself with breathing and grounding myself physically.

Early on in my professional career I was faced with corporate hierarchies and I had to report to the managers above me. My job was salesman and I had to deliver numbers. At a certain point in time, I got a new manager and I had to learn to deal with him as a person. Due to the organisation in the company I had previously very much been left alone to deliver my results in the way that I saw fit. When the new manager was appointed, I started to experience increased levels of anxiety, as he was pressuring me to improve my output.

In general I would listen to him and value his feedback, but I also noticed that he would place expectations on me that I was seeing I would not realistically be able to fulfill. This was causing stress in me and actually creating an experience where I started to dislike my job.

Then, one day, we had a ‘quick meeting‘, standing face to face in a meetingroom. We were talking about the numbers and he brought up this point of me having to sell 20 contracts in the coming month. I knew that in the past I was able to sell 15 contracts at best, and on average I would sell 10 contracts. In that moment I was very clear that 20 contracts would not be realistic to commit to. So when he brought up the point of the 20 contracts, looking me intensely in the eyes, I focussed on remaining calm and I said in a very calm and allmost nonchalant way: Ok, I’ll do my best.

I could see that he was not happy with my answer and he leaned forward and said: „What ?!!“

At this point I became very anxious. At the same time I realised that I could not show my anxiety and that I had to take responsibility for this situation. I could feel how within my body I was trembling with fear as I was moving myself to speak. While I spoke I made sure that on the outside I remained calm and collected. Here I applied breathing and using my body to ground myself. I said to him that there were circumstances to take into consideration why the 20 contracts may not happen (in a nutshell). A few seconds later in the conversation the tension completely relaxed itself and we were having a comfortable conversation.  

This is how I was able to prove to myself that through changing the relationship with myself, I could change my relationships with others.

For more information on self-forgiveness, breathing and self-change, visit desteni and EQAFE