Posts tonen met het label self-trust. Alle posts tonen
Posts tonen met het label self-trust. Alle posts tonen

maandag 24 mei 2021

Day 391 - A Practical Approach to Making Decisions

In the early years of my process I often made the mistake of using my feelings to make a decision. I would try to listen to what my body says and I would interpret that experience with my mind. If right after I made a decision I would suddenly experience a negative feeling such as fear, I might get swayed and think that I made a wrong decision.

In recent years I have learned to make decisions more effectively. First of all I do not use feelings to guide me. First of all I ask myself what it is that I want and I also look at what is realistically possible. This might involve having to do research and doing some math. Sometimes the research will show that the thing I would like is not lucrative and I will then already have my answer. Other times the research will show that it is possible and then it is really up to me.

What I have learned is that sometimes a decision will be rather clear and easy to make – and sometimes it is not so clear and not so easy to make, despite all the research I did. I will off course also talk to people if I am really unclear as to what to do to get a form of external feedback. But in the end the decision will remain up to me. Here is a practical tool that I have found to be useful when making decisions: usually a decision is only really made by taking a certain action. For instance, you make your decision known to someone, or you click on a button to confirm a deal, or you post a message on a platform. 

I found that in this moment, I am able to completely slow myself down. I take a deep breath and I remain silent inside. Then, I place my awareness in my whole body and I ask myself if I am cool with this or not. If I am cool with this, then I act. If I am not cool with this, then that means that there is perhaps something that I have not yet considered. This 'being cool' with the decision then immediately translates into a physical movement: it almost happens sumultaneously: I know that I am cool with it and consequently I am doing it. I act my decision. Sometimes there will still be 'fear' in this phase, but it is like I will sit with myself and 'hold myself' and see if I am able to 'push' myself softly to walk into that descision and then there will arrive a point where suddenly I am 'ready' - an inner movement and then I act. 

This then also gives me a solid foundation to later on not ‘question‘ a decision I made. Because I know that I have made that decision in ful awareness and deliberateness. Therefore it was a specific decision and I know I can stand by it. In other words, I can trust myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to in moments still allow 'external' feedback to guide me in my decisions – such as 'coincidences' and 'synchronicities'.

I realise and understand that coincidences and syncronicities might occur due to the nature of the system that we exist in but I cannot limit myself nor define myself according to a coincidence or synchronicity – which means I am still seeking 'the guiding hand of God', instead of me accepting and embracing my own expression and responsibility as life and what i am willing to stand by.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to seek for outward signals in moments when I am still in doubt, where I abdicate my authority to an external system to which I then become enslaved.

I realise and understand that I cannot fear my own descisions. I realise and understand that I cannot fear the consequences of my descisions. I realise and understand that I am the beginning and the end-point of my own descisions.

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For more information about writing, self-forgiveness and applying self-change, visit: http://desteni.org


For the Free online self-forgiveness course, visit: http://lite.desteniiprocess.com

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zaterdag 3 augustus 2019

Day 369 - When we Decide to Make something Work

Today I was looking at my backpack again, as it was lying in the room.

Suddenly I did not like the idea anymore of bringing it to someone for repairing. The zipper was no longer in place and was coming off as well on certain ends. I had judged that the job would have been too complicated for me.

Today however, I realised that I can do this. I need to simply push myself and do it.

And lo and behold, as I took out my little sewing kit and started working on the backpack, it becamed clear rather quickly how I should best stich. This is because I had made a decision to fix the bag, instead of allowing myelf to be 'confused and 'undecided'.

As long as I am waivering and hesitant as to the point of responsibility, I will prevent myself from seeing the detail of the solution. I will make it 'confusing' and 'too complicated'.

I would have taken my backpack to a person or a store and I would have had to run around to find the right person or store and they would have charged me money - and within that I would have learned nothing. So, when I was looking at my backpack today there was a point of: I am not accepting this and so I made a decision.

So, what this point has showed me is that the critical part is to actually make a decision instead of letting a point 'sit' in 'no mans land'. I direct it - I bring the point as far as I can take it.

A similar point happened with the guitar I had bought a while ago. I buy a guitar. I am happy. Then I have to tune the guitar. Then it didn't quite work out. Then I was unhappy. Then I started dreading the process of tuning the guitar because of my expereince and having build 'uncertainty' in regards to the process and ALSO thinking that 'it will probably not work' and 'maybe I will have to ask someone to do it for me.' I left the guitar untuned and untouched for many months.

But then, one day I simply took the guitar and started tuning it - I said to myself that 'I am just going to tune it'. And although things did not work 'perfectly' I made enormous headway in tuning the guitar simply because I hade made a decision.

I found that when my starting point changes then 'everything' changes, the tools that I am using they 'change' -  the tuner I was using, now was willing to collaborate - but instead of only relying on the tuner, I would also use my common sense, I would listen to the sound of the strings - suddenly any and all limitation is just irrelevant. Suddenly I am resourceful. Why? Because I have made a decision.

Interesting the power we have - when we decide to make something work.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to postpone things because I actually do not see myself able to do it.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see that postponing is the first step of giving up.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to postpone as a way to hide from myself that I am giving up.

I commit myself to identify where I am postponing and abdicating responsibility - and give to myself the gift of making a simple yet effective decision.

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For more information about writing, self-forgiveness and applying self-change, visit: http://desteni.org

For the Free online self-forgiveness course, visit: http://lite.desteniiprocess.com

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