Day 370 - Buying New Pants

After I had gained 10 kilo's in the course of the year, I started to worry about my weight. This 'problem' became also a practical problem because I could no longer fit my pants. I desperately started to do sports such as biking and running, but my weight remained pretty stable. I would go to work with a button of my pants open and long shirts so that no one would notice that I cannot close my pants anymore.

At this point I realised that I was abusing myself and my body and that I had to buy new pants, simply because I actually had the means to do so. Therefore I bought a set of new pants that would fit me comfortably and with which I could go to work. Within buying those pants, I also accepted that this is now my weight and I stopped being 'in conflict' with it.

After a few months another point opened up where I realised that I had developed a habit of overeating in the mornings. So, this is now a point that I am re-adjusting. It seems to me that this type of realisations and insight can only open up after I have made the step to embrace my body first, because as long as I am in fear I am also in denial of myself and my reality.

Another good blog that inspired me with perspective on this point is: https://parentingforlife.net/my-new-body/

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For more information about writing, self-forgiveness and applying self-change, visit: http://desteni.org

For the Free online self-forgiveness course, visit: http://lite.desteniiprocess.com

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Day 339 - Too Exhausted to do Anything

“I’m too exhausted I can’t do anything” is a thought pattern I face at times after a day of work. It gives me the excuse to divert myself in the evenings and not do anything constructive with myself in the time that I have to myself.

Yes, the work does take a certain ‘toll’ on me – because to work efficiently one need to invest oneself wholeheartedly, give oneself completely – but that does not mean that I am ‘dead’ in the evening. I am still here. I can direct myself and decide to undertake an activity with which to support myself and ‘create’ myself – I can still plant little seeds and water them.

Today I listened to an EQAFE interview that talked about how mind resistance functions. I could see then that this is what I have been allowing: to not put in at least that equal amount of ‘pushing’ that the mind is putting out in reverse in the form of resistance. If the amount of resistance that the mind is putting out is greater than the amount of pushing that I am willing to put out in order to move myself into self-realization and self-change – then the mind will evolve and grow at the detriment of ‘me’ as the life I could be.

That is not a desirable prospect. It speaks for itself that one would like to become ‘more’ and ‘grow’ as a self-expressive person and not become ‘less’. ‘less’ than what and who one really could be as a being, as a person.

What if there is a way to bring out the best in ourselves?

Check it out at : www.desteni.org