Day 373 - Rectifying Consequence through Communication

A while ago I rented a car in the capital, and afterwards experienced an issue with the car rental company, because they charged me for a full tank of fuel - as if I had brought the car back empty.

In reality I had filled up the fueltank right before returning the car, however at the gas station I was unable to fill up the tank to the maximum level so that 1 liter of fuel was missing. This was because the fuel pump simply blocked me from continuing the fill up the tank, as if my tank was completely ful already. Except that it was not 100% full as it was missing 1 liter.

When I returned the car to the local car rental desk, I did not see or find the person on the parking lot  with whom I was supposed to check the car and make sure all was in order. I then went upstairs to the administration desk and returned the key with the necessary explanations in regards to the fuel problem. The person said they would do their best to pass on the information but he was clearly overworked.

It was therefore no real surprise when my credit card was charged for the full fuel tank a few weeks later. At this point I said to myself that I will write an email to the central adminsitration of the car rental company, to 'complain' about why and how my credit card was charged. It took me quite a while between the moment that I realised that this is what I must do, and the day that I actually decided to write and send the email. Initially I had even thought: ah, it is just 25 EUR, and I have no proof to stand on - will it even make a difference? It is simply bureaucracy...

However there was also a point in me where I felt that I should speak up in regards to the matter, which is why I finally sent them an email. In this email I simply explained what happened from my perspective and how it happened, adding no proof for my statement except for telling my story in detail so as to offer the entire context. (I did of course give them the reference of my rental and the number on the bill I received)

In this email I did not blame the company about bad service and I did not use any emotion such as anger. I ended my email with asking them to reimburse me the 25 EUR they charged minus the real cost of 1 liter of fuel. After I had sent my email I did not expect an actual treatment of my case or an investigation of any kind. In a way this email I sent it for myself, to show to myself that I do not need to accept abuse in the form of blind mistakes.

But, to my surprise they actually did answer and reimbursed me the entire amount. At this point I realised that in the past I had often given up on what I call 'small things' bacause of not wanting to make 'a big deal' out of it - yet now I saw that this behaviour was also a form of subtly accepting and allowing inferiority and giving up.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accept a certain outcome simply because of the belief that others have to do something for me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that I am not worth it to communicate in regards to a mistake that was made and that should be rectified.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to allow mistakes in others that compromise me instead of simply showing the mistake and the consequence and the compromise.

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For more information about writing, self-forgiveness and applying self-change, visit: http://desteni.org

For the Free online self-forgiveness course, visit: http://lite.desteniiprocess.com

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Day 359 - Directing an emotional Conversation

As I was walking out of the garage yesterday, the concierge of our building came to me and asked if all the plastic bottles lying around the backyard were mine. It had indeed been very windy for a few days and thus things had been flying around. I said: „No, because our platic bottles are alwys tight in our blue plastic bag“. The blue bag being a recycling bag which we close with a pin. I added: „You need to tell all the neighbours (in the appartment building) that they need to keep their blue bags tight and closed.“ At this point, and seemingly without hearing me, he raised his voice and shouted: „Because I am fed up of picking up all the trash all the time – it looks like a dump here again! And we keep on cleaning it!“

I had already given him the solution to his problem, so I did not further reply to his comments. I nodded my head in a neutral manner and walked on to the garage. There was a moment where a thought popped up in my head that I should at least prove to him that the bottles were not coming from us, but upon taking a breath, I saw that this would add little to the point and in fact the point was not wether or not he agreed with me the but about whether I am clear within myself about my starting point. When I was done with my business in the garage, I walked past him again and said ‚bye‘.

This showed me that when I am clear inside myself, it is very easy to direct a situation. There is no need to take on the emotions from others.

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For more information about writing, self-forgiveness and applying self-change, visit: http://desteni.org

For the Free online self-forgiveness course, visit: http://lite.desteniiprocess.com

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