I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience
stress over having to help my partner with a problem that I experience as being
futile and a waste of my time.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience
so much resistance with assisting and helping my partner with directing points
that require my assistance – so much so that I will tell myself that she can
solve them by herself and is just wasting my time – even though in common sense
I can see this is not the case and my help is really required.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to throw a
tantrum when my help is required in something that I did not expect, that I
will experience as unexpected and as ‘not my responsibility’ and I will ‘wish
that I did not have to do this’ and experience it as a ‘sin’ that I need to now
do this instead of doing that which I had planned for myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to freak out
with having to help my partner.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to push my
partner away within ‘not feeling like’ assisting her and supporting her.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have defined
these moments where I help and support my partner as a ‘loss’ when I perceive
that there is ‘nothing in it for me’.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get obsessed
with ‘my viewpoint’ of ‘losing out’ – instead of actually seeing the situation
of the other and realizing that she needs my help.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be greedy
with my time because of only wanting to spend it in a way where there is ‘direct
or indirect reward’.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be
self-obsessed within not seeing the needs and requirements of others.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not make ‘others’
part of my world.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to move within
self-interest of wanting to win something from the things I do as a payment or
reward.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to pretend I
need to ‘protect myself’ from the ‘irrational demands and requirements’ of
others.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being
trapped within helping someone else – where they are satisfied about their
stuff moving forward but me being dissatisfied with my stuff not having moved
forward.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not want to
assist and support another out of jealousy that they will move forward with
their stuff more than I do.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear I will
DIMINISH if I help someone else without me experiencing any direct benefit from
it.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think and
believe I should always try and stay ahead of others.
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to stand
equal to the other who is asking for my help – so as to stand in a relationship
of supporting them and within that supporting myself, no matter who the other
person is.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to discriminate
between who I will help and ‘when I feel like it’.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to only want to
help when it is convenient for me too.
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to realize
that the world does not work according to what is convenient for me – as I
share this world with billions of other beings who live their lives – hence the
world is inherently unpredictable.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear unpredictability.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that
within unpredictability I will not know what to do or who to be.
I forgive myself that I have not allowed myself to remain comfortable
with me no matter what new situation I find myself within.
When and as I see myself getting anxious over being asked to help – I stop
and breathe and ‘let go’ of whatever I had planned for myself and which I judge
as ‘more important’ than what the other person is asking my help for – and accept
within myself that this is equally important and of equal value, as within
supporting the other I also support myself.
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