Day 383 - Writing as a habit that Supports Me

An interesting thing occured when I made the decision to 'write everyday' in my daily diarybook. In the past I would have felt like such a commitment is not realistic and hence it would be like setting myself up for failure. 

I would say that the commitment to write daily in my daily diary did not come as a thought in my head but more as a realisation of what I am ready to give to myself. Hence the decision was made in an instant. 

The clarity of the decision was given within what I saw would help and asist others. On the open forum I had often suggested that 'this is something that will support you'. And in many ways, also through listening to EQAFE interviews it had become clear and apparent that 'writing daily' was really a key in developing a relationship of self-introspection with self. 

So what was 'new' so to speak when I made my decision to write daily in my dialy diary was the realisation that I do not need to write 'a lot' every day - in fact initially I was more looking at placing key words and bullet points per evening, as something that would support me with 'slowing down' at least one moment per day, and actually look at myself and who I am, looking at 'who I was today'. 

This is then how I saw that my commitment was realistic and that is how I started. I have since walked my daily diary writing every day and I am currently at 'Day 395'. There was a moment where I was faced with hesitation because after a few weeks the thought came up that I would not be able to work on a DIP assignment AND have enough time to write in my Daily diary in one day. So, I then made an agreement with myself that it is not about the 'writing in the daily diary' per say, but about the daily introspection through writing. Hence, if I have worked on a DIP assignment on a given day, then I can simply make a note in my daily diary for that day that I worked on my DIP an that is then my writing for the day. 

This allowed me to continue my daily commitment, even though later on even if I had worked on a DIP assignment, I would eventually still write in the diary in the evening, simply because I have made a habit out of it and because it supports me to do so before going to bed every day. This has assisted me with developing a deeper intimacy with myself and making sure that I look at those parts of myself that I am not satisfied with and looking at how I can change myself in them in a practical way.  

----------------------------------------------------------

For more information about writing, self-forgiveness and applying self-change, visit: http://desteni.org

For the Free online self-forgiveness course, visit: http://lite.desteniiprocess.com

----------------------------------------------------------

Day 355 - Remembering an EQAFE Interview

It has been a while that I have been wanting to share this experience I had with an EQAFE interview, yet have been unable to, due to many changes in my life that are now slowly coming to an end.

One day I was sitting with my partner. I had come to sit with her because she was dealing with a point. This point in question was a point she had been bringing up more than once, and in the back of my mind there was already a judgment about 'not this point again'.

As she was speaking her concerns and her considerations, which were initially the same as I had heard previously (so I told myself) – I started to feel a pressure within myself to ‘intervene‘  and ask her to ‘calm down‘ and telling her that she was being ‘emotional‘. Within her words there was a certain agitation based on the unresolvedness of this conflcit and I could feel that she felt ’stuck‘ with this point.

Normally I would have given in to the temptation to start ’interrupting‘ and ‘speaking‘ under the pretext of ’supporting the person‘ (but in reality only as an attempt to control her as a way to stop my own un-ease with the situation) – yet in that moment a message from an EQAFE interview came up within me, I recalled it and saw how I could use it in this moment.

The EQAFE interview (I do not recall the name of it) was about that we sometimes need to be patient when dealing with our own mind. In the interview an example was given of a child trowing a tantrum and how one cannot simply expect the child to stop ‚in one moment‘ but that it may be required for the child to `act out the energies and the tantrum before he can start to stabilize himself again‘ – in other words: sometimes it is required to let the energies simply run out. In the interview it was then suggested that we take a similar approach with ourselves, when finding ourselves in an energetic or emotional state: it may be required for us to run out the energies first before we can start to create stability and clarity within ourselves again.

Back to the situation with my partner: Without me basically saying or doing anything – but simply by remaining quiet and letting my partner speak - , she eventually regained stability within herself which I could hear in her words as she was continuing to speak. Not only did she regain stability within herself but she was even able to move further than that and ended up formulating a solution to the inner conflict – without me contributing even a single word. As this happened I realised what I had done in the previous instances and how I had actually prevented the person from resolving her issue. I had actually misunderstood my role: my role was not to ’try and help‘ the person but to simply ’let her be‘ and ’give her the space and time‘ to develop her own insight. I had to sctually stand back and let her speak to me. That was my role.

For more information about EQAFE interviews, please visit: https://eqafe.com 

Day 349 - Replacing the Driver

In April I was in Spain with my parents to spend a small week with them. On one of our trips my dad who was driving the car was not feeling well, and and that point I wanted to suggest that I should drive. When him not feeling well continued I said that I should drive and my mother asked to pull over so we could switch.

At this point I was not 100 % sure that I would be able to drive this car very well because I only have been driving for 2 years plus I seldom drive during the week. Another dimension which caused slight apprehension was that I would be driving the car with 5 people (me included) which I had never done before.

However, once I started the car all seemed to go well and a few minites later we were back on the motorway continuing our trajectory.

This was an interesting experience for me because it allowed me to assess a situation and what I could contribute to the situation even though within myself I did not feel 100% confident. But because I took the step (others could have taken over the driving as well instead of me) it allowed me to expand myself in the point of driving and gain trust within myself.

What I also realised is that when I take responsibility in a point then others will become supportive. For instance when I took the wheel my dad took the seat next to me and now and then would give me little pointers or ask me to slow down as the car was on the large side and not very powerful. This was a nice form of collaboration and I appreciated my dad and the gentleness of his support.

This was a cool instance for me of 'seeing an opportunity' and 'seizing the opportunity', where sometimes we simply have to move through a fear in an unexpected moment and then all we can do is be self-honest and take the leap.

*****
Test the DIP Lite course for Free and discover the power of writing.
Visit desteni.org for more information on writing and self-forgiveness.

*****

Day 339 - Too Exhausted to do Anything

“I’m too exhausted I can’t do anything” is a thought pattern I face at times after a day of work. It gives me the excuse to divert myself in the evenings and not do anything constructive with myself in the time that I have to myself.

Yes, the work does take a certain ‘toll’ on me – because to work efficiently one need to invest oneself wholeheartedly, give oneself completely – but that does not mean that I am ‘dead’ in the evening. I am still here. I can direct myself and decide to undertake an activity with which to support myself and ‘create’ myself – I can still plant little seeds and water them.

Today I listened to an EQAFE interview that talked about how mind resistance functions. I could see then that this is what I have been allowing: to not put in at least that equal amount of ‘pushing’ that the mind is putting out in reverse in the form of resistance. If the amount of resistance that the mind is putting out is greater than the amount of pushing that I am willing to put out in order to move myself into self-realization and self-change – then the mind will evolve and grow at the detriment of ‘me’ as the life I could be.

That is not a desirable prospect. It speaks for itself that one would like to become ‘more’ and ‘grow’ as a self-expressive person and not become ‘less’. ‘less’ than what and who one really could be as a being, as a person.

What if there is a way to bring out the best in ourselves?

Check it out at : www.desteni.org