In recent years I have learned to make decisions more effectively.
First of all I do not use feelings to guide me. First of all I ask myself what
it is that I want and I also look at what is realistically possible. This might
involve having to do research and doing some math. Sometimes the research will
show that the thing I would like is not lucrative and I will then already have
my answer. Other times the research will show that it is possible and then it
is really up to me.
What I have learned is that sometimes a decision will be rather clear and easy to make – and sometimes it is not so clear and not so easy to make, despite all the research I did. I will off course also talk to people if I am really unclear as to what to do to get a form of external feedback. But in the end the decision will remain up to me. Here is a practical tool that I have found to be useful when making decisions: usually a decision is only really made by taking a certain action. For instance, you make your decision known to someone, or you click on a button to confirm a deal, or you post a message on a platform.
I found that in this moment, I am
able to completely slow myself down. I take a deep breath and I remain silent
inside. Then, I place my awareness in my whole body and I ask myself if I am
cool with this or not. If I am cool with this, then I act. If I am not cool
with this, then that means that there is perhaps something that I have not yet
considered. This 'being cool' with the decision then immediately translates into
a physical movement: it almost happens sumultaneously: I know that I am cool
with it and consequently I am doing it. I act my decision. Sometimes there will still be 'fear' in this phase, but it is like I will sit with myself and 'hold myself' and see if I am able to 'push' myself softly to walk into that descision and then there will arrive a point where suddenly I am 'ready' - an inner movement and then I act.
This then also gives me a solid foundation to later on not ‘question‘
a decision I made. Because I know that I have made that decision in ful
awareness and deliberateness. Therefore it was a specific decision and I know
I can stand by it. In other words, I can trust myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
in moments still allow 'external' feedback to guide me in my decisions – such as 'coincidences' and 'synchronicities'.
I realise and understand that coincidences and
syncronicities might occur due to the nature of the system that we exist in but
I cannot limit myself nor define myself according to a coincidence or
synchronicity – which means I am still seeking 'the guiding hand of God',
instead of me accepting and embracing my own expression and responsibility as
life and what i am willing to stand by.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to
seek for outward signals in moments when I am still in doubt, where I abdicate
my authority to an external system to which I then become enslaved.
I realise and understand that I cannot fear my own
descisions. I realise and understand that I cannot fear the consequences of my
descisions. I realise and understand that I am the beginning and the end-point
of my own descisions.
For more information about writing, self-forgiveness and applying self-change, visit: http://desteni.org
I love this Sylvia!
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