Day 318 - Self-value and competition

Artwork by Marlen Vargas Del Razo

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to support the system of competition because I accept myself as inferior and as having no value and therefore I can only be someone when I compete with others and ‘win’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to within me be in eternal competition and only care about how I can win, instead of actually asking myself what is best for all and who I need to be for all to become one and equal.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to disadvantage another as an act of spitefulness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to out of fear of losing try to manipulate others so that they fall and I CAN HAVE AN ADVANTAGE.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to try to weaken others instead of supporting them as one as equal as me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not be happy for them when they succeed but instead be jealous and within that jealousy exist in fear that I will lose.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that competition and jealousy stems from an experience of seeing oneself as ‘less than’.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to react to my experience of ‘feeling less than’ with jealousy and competition towards others – because I take my perception that the other has a point in which he or she is more than me ‘personal’ – instead of investigating how I can learn from this person and become equal in that point.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have interpreted the success of others as my own failure - and within that become a really nasty being.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not be humble in this reality and realize that I don’t know much and that there is lots to learn from everyone – instead of trying to protect my position and justify why I am limited.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use ego as a way to manipulate myself into limitation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not unconditionally accept myself, yet within the realization that I am not yet all that I can be – however I am in the position to take responsibility for myself and create myself to the utmost potential in this life – and that is my responsibility towards myself and towards life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have experienced others as ‘threats’ to my self-definition – instead of realizing they are showing me who I can be – because if it is part of them then it is part of all as one as equal.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize that through jealousy and competition I am separating me from myself and my own potential in this life through trying to compete with this aspect of myself instead of realizing I must become equal to it and live it as an expression of me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use the point of jealousy towards others to equally place myself as ‘more than’ as superiority – which would be a way to block them from standing up just like I have blocked myself from standing up within myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to through the system of competition have kept the current system of value in place where the one has more value than the other who is seen as having less value – instead of realizing that all and everyone is equal in value as equal potential of Life – as we are all from the same source, and to compete with each other based on inferiority is therefore ludicrous and insane.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to perceive myself as weak and believe I am unable to move in this world without an ego as shield that I can use to place myself as superior towards others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have bought into the ‘systemversion’ of value, where all value is based on polarity and where for value to exist worthlessness needs to exist -  just like for Gold to have value, sand must be worthless – instead of realizing that all is equal in value as Life – and this is self-value that is recognized in self and not a value that is administered by an outside authority on which one then eternally depend for one’s self-value –just like we all depend on the money system for our self-value through Money – instead of realizing that we are all equal in value and it is therefore our responsibility to give equally to all according to their inherent value.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to never have considered self-value that is recognized in self – and instead have tried to give myself value in the eyes of others – not realizing that this is impossible and deliberately designed so that one would be struggling and competing into eternity, searching for value.

I accept and value myself as all as one as equal.

I commit myself to when and as I see myself competing or being jealous towards another to stop myself and breathe and realize I am accepting my limitations instead ofinvestigating what this other being is really representing as the part of me I am resisting and experiencing inferiority towards.

I commit myself to when and as I see myself sabotaging another because I fear they may flourish as life and become all that they can be – to stop and breathe and realize that I am busy sabotaging myself as Life and stopping myself from becoming all that I can be – and thus I commit myself to support others to the best of my ability in becoming all that they can be because I also support myself to become all that I can be.

I commit myself to stop and deconstruct the point of competition and lack of self-value in me and show that Life is the only value. 

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